his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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