...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
