Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
