She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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