I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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