I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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