And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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