I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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