I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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