STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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