16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
