I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
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