hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
smell my finger.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
