all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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