Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
