i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
