video games are the ultimate cock blocker
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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