Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
