Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize