Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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