My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
