I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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