is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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