i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
