quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
You have to summon your inner elephant
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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