If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
