Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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