he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
