Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just pynch a tree in the face
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
