so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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