His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
