i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
