I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
