that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
