I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
