he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
