I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
