Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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