at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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