someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
