I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Randomize
