It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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