I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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