Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
