After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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