2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
