you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
