Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
