508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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