we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
