Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
