I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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