shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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