I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
