We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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