this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
