Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
